New Year – Bye 2020, Hello 2021

My unconventional New Years Resolution and how I will miss 2020. Read along to see what I mean!

2020 – Oh how you have changed us all. I can’t even count how many times I’ve heard people say they can’t wait for 2020 to be over. The amount of memes there are to make fun of this year is incredible and honestly, some of them have been quite funny. Everyone is in a rush to leave 2020 behind and move on to (hopefully) better years ahead. I have to say, I am not one of these people.

Yes, the heartache and tragedies 2020 brought have been terrible. Natural disasters including fires and floods. The death of beloved Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Riots and protests coming from every corner of the country. Murder hornets??(WTF) The continuous struggles the environment endures. And of course, COVID-19. Before I continue, I need to say that I am BEYOND thankful and blessed that COVID-19 did not bring my family heartache or treacherous struggles. That is why I am able to write this today. I think as a whole, we can all say from the outside looking in, 2020 was freaking rough!

Let me tell you something though. This year for Thanksgiving, Jordan (my son) asked us all what we were thankful for. My answer was – 2020. And my “New Years Resolution” is to take 2020 with me into every new year. Let me tell you why…

For as long as I can remember, all I have wanted to be when “I grew up” was a stay-at-home mom. As a child, I had it all planned, 4 kids – a boy, twin girls and a boy. I was going to get married really young, live in a big house and start a family by 21. Trust me, I have the old MASH games to prove it (lol). Well, let me tell you, you don’t realize how young 21 is until you’re 21 and you don’t realize life has other plans for you than the plans you may have for yourself. I did NOT anticipate having my first child at 19 not married. I did not think that situation would head as far south as it did, but again when you think you’re in control, you’re really not. If you know me well then you know that whole story. But this isn’t about that so anyways!!!

SAHM (stay at home mom) life in my head went like this – Waking up bright and early and whipping the family up some breakfast. Then you would pack lunches while figuring out when you were going to send all the students’ parents their emails because of course, you were the class mom. Babe would head to work, and the oldest kids would get on the bus. You and the little one would head to gym that had a daycare center for your 10am spin class and while there you would think about scheduling the baby’s nap around your coffee date with none other than another SAHM. That coffee date was of course after you and the little one went to mommy and me. After coffee with a friend, you would swing by the grocery store to pick up fresh meat for the fabulous Pinterest’ed dinner you were going to have ready for the family in perfect synchronicity to when your husband walked in from his oh so busy day. Dinner prep was obviously right after you finished putting away all the laundry you had time to do after you vacuumed the whole house.

STOPPPPP. Ask any stay-at-home mom if their life EVER goes this perfect. I’m going to say that’s a hard NO. Life is not an old black and white peachy keen sitcom and that is no one’s regular day. Unless you’re part of Bravos Housewife Franchise and even then, it’s not like that – but it is still a dream of mine to be a Bravolebrity lolol. #NoShame

But anywho. I know that is not a real day in the life of a stay-at-home mom. How?? Snow days. That’s how. I HATE a snow day. Absolutely hate them. EVERYTHING is off schedule. Kids are home screaming needing attention ALL DAY LONG. No one helps you clean anything so the house literally is a trash zone. You feel forced to go to the store before said snow day to get cinnabuns for the morning and all the makings for chili so the food for the day matches the coziness of the snow day. You HAVE to get children dressed up in snow gear and play. In. the. Snow. With. Them. Don’t they know it’s your day off too?? No, they don’t. Remember, they want attention?? Snow days are the reason I know stay at home mom life can freaking suck!

So, I continued to work. I work for a family business and I needed to work as much as the business needed me there. It went hand in hand. I’m fortunate enough to have the flexibility there that I do to be able to take my kids to my office if needed. I could go in after my son gets on the bus and be home for when he gets off. I can rearrange my schedule as need be and I will forever be grateful to my uncle and the amazing company he created. Although I had flexibility, I still needed to attend a job. I was a wife, mother, and an employee all at once. In the back of my mind, it was still not what I truly wanted.

Trust me, I love the fight for women to be treated equally in the workspace and the encouragement they are getting to be a working mom. For ME though, I sometimes wished for a little more of an old school approach, snow day chaos and all. 

Enter 2020. A global pandemic. A complete shut down and quarantine. WTF! Not going to lie, I was realllyyy veryyyy veryyyy nervous to be locked in my house with my family. (Sorry guys) Days’ worth of snow days sounded like a death sentence to me. Honestly, I panicked at first.

We took it one day at a time. Between my husband and I both working from home, homeschooling, and virtually doing my daughters early intervention services, things were a little chaotic. Then Kyle went back to work and I was alone. I didn’t go back into my office because Jordan needed to be homeschooled and Sienna needed to do her services 7 times a week. Again, very fortunate to have that option!

Life actually started to feel calm in the midst of crazy. Some days even looked like that fake SAHM day, with a couple substitutions.

I love to cook! I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for my family every single day and I LOVED IT. I experimented with so much food because I had time to. Dinner didn’t have to be rushed after a full day of being at work with a 1-year-old. I wasn’t necessarily the “class mom” but I was Jordan’s class mom. Of course, there were very frustrating days, but I have never been able to be the parent to volunteer to go to the school and do the seasonal craft with the kids. Why? Because I had to be somewhere else… work. Now, we could do all the crafts we want. No, Sienna and I didn’t go to mommy and me classes at a place, but we had mommy and me class 7 times a week at home! I was the one doing her services with her and helping her to progress and improve. I didn’t meet people for coffee dates, but we sure did a lot of Facetiming! Facetiming with people we normally wouldn’t have. I have probably seen my family through Facetime more times than I would have actually seen them in person. Was the house always clean? F*&! NO. But did I feel like I was drowning in housework and chores? No, I didn’t. Because I had time to do them throughout the day. And let me tell you, that alone relieved so much stress and made me a wayyyy happier mom and wife, ask them! And then back to food! Dinner was pretty much always made. Something that I find is a hobby for me also benefitted my family. Making dinner is like my own personal therapy session and I was able to take time to do it and include my kids by having them help.

2020 brought me something I have always wanted. Time with my family. We have laughed and become so much closer. I have been able to spend time, real time with my kids. Sienna’s development progressed so much, and I truly believe it is because I was able to give her my TIME. Jordan and I baked, A LOT. We played tons of Yahtzee, Clue Jr., and Monopoly. We had dance parties and stayed in pajamas all day some days (most days) and just… were. I would have never in a gazillion years let myself take that time if it wasn’t forced on me. I would have felt too guilty.

I learned tons of things about myself. I really dug deep and focused on my core values and what is important to me. I researched and listened to a lot of podcasts on health and wellness, the environment, space, human rights, and leisure ones from reality tv stars. I took a pregnancy nutrition course for fun to enhance my knowledge in something I’m interested in. Oh, and speaking of pregnancy, we made our third baby, totally unplanned. Talk about time for that to happen, lol. I started a blog that is really just for my own fun and enjoyment but sharing things whether it be food, my kids or the randomness of my day just brings me a little extra joy. I don’t think I ever would have taken the step to do that without the time to share things. I opened up and shared my daughter’s journey which is an ongoing daily event. I continue to share things in hopes it could one day help someone else. I connected with other moms in the country with kids with similar disorders as her and their outward sharing helps me.

2020 made me realize that I don’t really need the hustle and bustle of days and to always be on the go go go. I am now way more capable of sitting back and enjoying the moment without the anxiety of feeling things need to be perfect. At the end of the day, my family and I are beyond fortunate to have not gone through the terrible hardships many families struggled with during this pandemic. Life is about so much more than the monotony of the ins and outs of a common day. I really realized that time is going to pass anyways, so make sure you are doing something you love with the time you have. If I don’t take that lesson with me and enjoy the time I am able to have with my family, I will be missing out on so much.

So, while yes, the tragedies and the mayhem of 2020 I can do without, the experiences and the lessons learned throughout the year I really hope I can hold on to and remember in the years ahead.

Happy New Year everyone!!